Your Wedding is a Political Act
In the midst of unprecedented political unrest in our communities over this past year, even thinking about planning a wedding or setting a date has been stressful and anxiety-producing for couples, to say the least. What with COVID-19 itself and the increase in police violence towards black people, anti-Asian terrorist attacks and other acts of white supremacy across the United States, many have felt helpless and lacking in direction.
Some individuals and businesses have taken up performative activism and allyship, using their social media platforms to share the occasional post or story to simply increase their social capital rather than truly seeking out ways to demonstrate and act out their devotion to causes such as Black Lives Matter. Within the wedding and events industry itself; however, there is more that both couples and vendors can do besides just reposting helpful information on their social media. Today, we’re addressing how your wedding itself is in fact a political event and how you can use your celebration to support causes you believe in.
The History of Marriage
Not only is marriage a private right, but it is also a political institution that helps us establish the boundaries of civic inclusion, thus defining the norms of citizenship. Throughout US history, marriage has been at the center of the struggle over the political rights and obligations of citizens, from anti-miscegenation laws to keep whites and blacks apart, to eugenic marriage laws used to regulate, restrict or extend immigration, and to the prohibition of same-sex marriage in the early 1990’s. Since the 1960’s, marriage has been intertwined with racial and economic policy, making it one very impactful way to define who we are as a nation (Yamin, 2012).
You can read more on the background of marriage equality for interracial couples here.
“Those closest to the problem are also closest to the solution.”
— Glenn E. Martin, founderof Justleadershipusa (Anderson, 2016)
Using Your Wedding to Support Social Justice Movements
Weddings are super political- everything from family dynamics to the couple’s racial or gender identity, vendors involved, the local community, and even wedding marketing itself. There are often deep-set biases and racism within the industry, with some vendors remaining uncomfortable with talking about or being involved in these issues. At the individual level, couples must ensure all aspects of their wedding planning are aligned with their values and one great way to do this is to make a political statement with their wedding.
When gathering loved ones for your celebration, you might want to think about what it means for you to gather together. What information do you want to share with everyone? Before even the rise in social justice during the pandemic, we were seeing people using their weddings to encourage donations for causes that they supported heavily. Here are some ways you can do this too through supporting immigrant families, for example:
Charitable wedding gifts- you could offer guests the option of gifting organizations such as the National Immigration Law Center rather than a traditional wedding gift for you both through registering for a cause (or a few!). Cash registries will often allow you to register for charitable organizations in lieu of gifts or honeymoon funds. This will also offer your guests time to research which charities they’d like to support (Ariel, 2017).
On your wedding day, you can place cards on each table stating your appreciation for guests’ attendance and encouraging them to fund non-profits that directly serve and advocate for immigrants locally and nationally, such as Immigrant Families Together and the Young Center for Immigrant Children’s Rights (Travers, 2019).
Make a statement with your vows! You can verbally reinforce your values with your loved ones around you to emphasize your solidarity with certain communities and causes through all circumstances.
Lastly, you can donate your leftover food and flowers to vulnerable communities in need.
General Support for Social Justice Movements
Getting involved in social justice can be overwhelming. This is why the first step is often just showing up for a cause you believe in. Taking small, initial actions will propel you in the right direction:
Start by working on your own habits and beliefs to ensure you’re not actually contributing to the problem. From there, you can then help others unlearn their own bad habits and behavior too.
Educate yourself on a particular movement of interest utilizing social media resources, books and movies. Then, seek out local activist groups and organizers to hold you accountable to acting on your learning.
Take action in your own community first. This can look like writing letters to elected officials, joining or creating a group dedicated to discussing and organizing around a movement, posting articles, sharing videos and writing updates about your movement.
Attend or help organize a protest and demonstration- they are great forms of active resistance.
Volunteer your time to those who need it, such as those affected by the exact injustice your movement is fighting against.
Donate to an impactful organization (Anderson, 2016).
In the end, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to social justice movements. The common denominator, however, is a drive to create change (Anderson, 2016). Remember to practice self-care and do what you can today, for a better world, for each other.
Other resources to support:
Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders
Hispanic Alliance for Career Enhancement
Sources
Anderson, Savonne. (2016, March 26). 8 ways to meaningfully support social justice movements. Mashable. Retrieved 04/13/2021 from https://mashable.com/2016/03/26/social-justice-get-involved/
Ariel. (2017, February 13).Wedding as a political act: 8 ways to show your wedding is part of the resistance. Offbeat bride. Retrieved 04/13/2021 from https://offbeatbride.com/wedding-as-political-act/
Travers, Julia. (2019, June 25). 20 ways you can help immigrants now. Yes magazine. Retrieved 04/13/2021 from https://www.yesmagazine.org/social-justice/2019/06/25/immigrant-children-border-crisis-how-to-help
Yamine, Prescilla. (2012, November 20). Marriage and the politics of America. Huffpost. Retrieved 04/13/2021 from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/marriage-and-the-politics_b_2166695
Vendors
Photographers: Kortni Maria, Cassidy Lynne; Models: Dima Dahdah, Daniel Brooks ; Florals: Hybl Fannin Design; Dress: Melanie by Flora Bridal from Something Bleu Bridal; Suit: Mcneil and Reedy; HMU: Finishing Touch; Styling & Paper: Ehmann Events; Cake: Fancy Pants Cakes VT; Favors: Saratoga Tea and Honey Co, Small Town Stained Glass; Rentals: Undercover Tents; Linens: The Linen Shop; Rings: Jewelry Creations by Hunter; Chef: Miguel Calderón at Calderon Dining.
